Butterflies and Transformations
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
-Dr. Maya Angelou
Transformation happens constantly all around us in nature. We watch a tiny caterpillar crawling and munching on leaves, then the cocooning, then emerging as a butterfly. We don’t usually witness the transformation from crawling caterpillar to winged-creature ready to fly ever so quietly through the air, it seems to happen in the blink of an eye, but it’s going through enormous amounts of transformation, change, and growth. We also watch our own seeds sprout and eventually become the plants that bare foods and medicines that nourish us, and we know that doesn’t happen overnight.
We watch seasons change (if you’re in an area with seasons), tree leaves transforming from tiny buds in late winter and early spring to luscious foliage that provides us with shade throughout the warm season, and transform again into vibrant colors and crispy textures in autumn, and yet again to release the leaves that take one more journey back to the earth, and we know that doesn’t happen overnight. Some humans will gather the fallen plant materials and turn it into rich compost and eventually new soil while some let those leaves naturally break down and decay, which transform into vital nutrients for pollinators – and we know that too, doesn’t happen overnight.
Yet when we turn inwards, our human nature, driven by such influences as society, media, etc. often expects our own transformation(s) to happen overnight. When it doesn’t, we humans may become frustrated at the slow process, wondering if transformation is actually occurring at all, creating our own suffering which really only delays the overall transformation cycles while we work through it all. Spoiler Alert… there is no set time your transformation will take. There’s no magic formula or speed ’em up button, transformation takes however long it needs to take, and there is much to learn, release, and experience along the way.
How have we, we as in a collective conscious, forgotten something so vital – that transformation takes time? There are influences abound promoting and creating near-instant gratification. Many centuries ago, humans lived in alignment with nature, with a much slower and gentler pace that allowed us to take time and smell the flowers along the way.
Nowadays, in more populated areas, you can order something online and it will be delivered the same day by 10 pm, further contributing to the ‘has to happen right now’ mindset. These things are supposed to make our lives better, easier, more efficient, and they may to some extent, but in the process of adapting that, many have forgotten that not all businesses are set up with logistical capabilities that make it possible and that actual transformation and growth takes time.
Personally, I have been DEEP into transformation work for healing stored complex trauma and grief in the body going on 10 years now and I still have work to do. There’s so much I don’t know and times when I think I have done all the work on a certain aspect, only to find myself realizing I’m not there yet or that something else has popped up, reminding me I haven’t fully learned a lesson or have more to experience, as part of the transformation.
And, while I am now in my mid-40’s and have completed enormous amounts of work on this particular process especially in the past couple years from releasing over 120lbs, figuring out the extremity of my gluten intolerance, developing physical strength I never had in my mid-20’s (seriously – at I rolled two truck tires (at the same time) just over 1/2 a mile uphill on a sandy road in near-freezing temperatures just 11 months ago, by myself, no equipment other than my hands), learning what nutrition my body needs, to cooking for whole being joy instead of for pleasure. I still experience high levels of physical pain and weakness daily and find it challenging at times to accept that I won’t likely simply wake up one morning and be pain-free.
Transformation is ongoing and a process with a multitude of micro-changes happening. 10 years ago, I would get winded walking short distances and had been recently diagnosed with breast cancer and told I’d likely never be able to put my arms fully up over my head – and there I was only a few months ago rolling two discarded truck tires uphill at 7000′ elevation in late December like it was easy.
It got me thinking about how, over the years, I have experienced thinking and feeling like I should be going faster and be farther along than I am and then being able to recognize how far I’ve actually come in my own transformation and that it hasn’t happened overnight, but it IS happening… at exactly the pace it’s supposed to.